I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
