id be glad to
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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