that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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