were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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