So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
