i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
