I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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