I've blown a few things in my day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize