So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
