Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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