I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
