What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
apparently the secret to your success is patron
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
