I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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