I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
