Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
