Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
