i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
