My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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