DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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