One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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