A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
