It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
