every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
