I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
