OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
