Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pooping to opera.
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