just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
