do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize