I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
