He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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