I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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