My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
