Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
