she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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