ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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