I have demons in me.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
