Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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