just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
