My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
