I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
