He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she peed on how many people?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Life without a bra equals bliss.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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