dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
