Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
