it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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