hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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