weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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