So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize