i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize