how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
