my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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