I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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