This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
