she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
