at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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