It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
