I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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